not found

I've been after a certain deer for the last 3-4 years. The first year, the day after the season, I see him while in my car. The next year, he walked under my stand while it was still dark, then out to a field where I could make out his antlers. Another year, I saw him as I came out from my tree stand, and he watched me from the top of a hill. Yesterday, he appears out of nowhere and I was able to get him stopped and quickly launch an arrow. I hit him...but after several hours searching could not find him. I will go back out and look again, but I am just sick over this. I been blessed to have harvested over 30-35 deer in my lifetime and this is the first one I have not retrieved.